Are you afraid?

What scares you? Your hands shake and you can’t catch your breath. Butterflies swirl in your stomach. Your internal voice yells: “I can’t do that. They’ll know I’m a fraud. I’ll mess everything up! Why would I even try?”

Last week I was invited to speak to a group of dozens of international leaders about power, privilege, and race. Two days prior, I owned my task list: co-planning, check. PowerPoint, check. Breakouts, quick-writes, and inquiry questions, check. Frameworks prepared, check. Talking points planned, check. Then the day came and friends, I was more petrified than I had been in years.

Who am I to facilitate this group of leaders who had worn flak jackets to engage with mothers in the middle of warzones, who implement women’s rights efforts across the globe? They are seriously brave.

Am I?

A previous boss shared this with me years ago: you are in that leadership chair, with the influence you have, and the experiences that make you special, because you were born to do this work, at this time, in this place.

What work were you born to do? Are you living into that?

We have a vast capacity to thrive when we are tapping into our bravery, when we are connected to our life’s calling. Most leadership programs will tell you they have the key to fix challenges with a formula; if you pay them, they’ll tell you the secret, give you the list, and share the five-step solution to all of your problems.

Brave leadership is never as simple as a formula, especially as we lead and learn in a complex world with oppression and injustice at every turn. It’s a brilliant joy to support leaders in all sectors, with strengths as unique as each of them. The joy lies in knowing what kind of leader you want to be, to be the kind of leader your organization and team needs for a time such as this.

"Our courage is dangerous."
- Austin Channing Brown

Before I step on stage to facilitate a group of 300 teachers, speak to the international leadership team of diplomats, or say the hard, truth-telling thing that I fear no one is ready for, I practice. I feel my feet on the ground beneath me, focus on my breath, rock out to my favorite song, practice my power stance, and step into my calling. I make big mistakes, friends, and I always learn by doing the next, best, hard thing. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

The space I shared with those international leaders was brave because they sat with the complexity and their complicity in power, privilege, and racism. When we choose to opt out,  requesting a tidy checklist of tasks, we are headed in the wrong direction every time.

When I am terrified of failure, of not being perfect, and I want to hide under a rock, there are a few mantras I use to encourage myself to connect with bravery.

You are not alone. Find your people. Prioritize time with and develop connections with your people that celebrate you and encourage you into your bravery.

Perfectionism is a tool of the oppressor. Mistakes are some of the most brilliant parts of our journeys. Perfection is an impossible illusion.

Recognize and use your voice. Prioritize listening, welcoming and knowing your own precious truth. Go in that direction.

Be quiet, listen and follow, particularly those with less privilege and power than you.

Your vulnerability is your superpower. I used to hide my mistakes, bolt upright in the middle of the night, horrified by a mistake I had made. I now listen to my fear behind it and laugh about it. Oops, I hope there’s a next time to try that again.

I find energy and encouragement alongside leaders who burn with fire for justice, a brave heart to hold a learner stance, ask for help when they get stuck, embrace adaptive challenges, are curious, and are willing to let go of a previous way of being or knowing. Brave leaders support their teams with integrity, vulnerability, and dedication.

An integral, incomparable presence in my life is Malika Amandi, founder of The Center for Women’s Voice. In late 2020 she facilitated a virtual retreat to look back at 2020 and look forward to 2021. It took bravery to look back at 2020, instead of trying to forget, hiding, or attempting to erase it away. Malika helped me find my voice, and facilitated my vision for 2021.

i’m letting go of
worry
fear
freezing
excuses
perfection
scarcity

i’m moving toward
loving myself
loving others
speaking truth
living into my groundedness
honesty
bravery
space and time to think, plan, dream, be
loving my body, feeding it healthy food, moving it, stretching it, caring for it

i picture myself
grounded
free
loving fully
brave
in true community

i’m committing to
abundance
gratitude
not packing my life too tightly
taking mini self-retreats
honest hope
truth
love

What are you letting go of? Moving toward? Picturing? Committing to?

In community we learn, grow and lead bravely. It can be hard to know who to trust, but you don’t have to do this alone. Breathe, and connect to yourself, in your way, so you have the energy for your bravery.

The world needs you, the real you. We need your full, brave, badass self.